Pride, Prejudice and Potions
by American Punk
Summary: A wizarding take on the classic novel Pride and Prejudice. And don't we all just love the idea of a Darcy-Snape?


It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. It is also a truth universally acknowledged, that Severus Tobias Snape is known as the most proud, rude sort of man who is only accepted in society for his association with the Malfoy kin and his relationship with the saviour of the wizarding world. In the case of Mr. Potter and Mr. Snape, the term relationship is loosely used. It is more of idolatry on the behalf for the former for the latter. Mr. Potter, a wizard blessed with the fortune of good looks and a companionable countenance, seemed to form this obsession after Mr. Snape's near death experience and his involuntary release of several memories, quite unusual in their clarity after so many years, but very much centered around one woman.

This is not a story about that woman. This is a story about a woman more interesting by far, and a love that, instead of being mocked, was the ultimate goal for which this woman fought. Whilst Britain has Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy, wizarding Britain has Severus Snape and Hermione Granger. And so it begins.

Pride, Prejudice and Potions

Molly Weasley had long since seen her only daughter married, quite advantageously, to Harry James Potter. However, that did not mean her work was done. There still remained one chick in her flock scandalously unwed. And at the age of four and twenty, Hermione Granger was, quite happily, on her way to living the wonderfully free life of a spinster. In her opinion this was simply the way to be as she desired no man to master her in any way and since the backwardness of wizarding society deemed that a woman's husband be her lord and master, she would stay single for the rest of her days, despite the awful things that were written about the only war hero to remain unmarried.

Ginny had long since become the winsome bride of her adoring husband and darling of wizarding society Harry Potter and since then had borne him no less than three adorably cherubic boys with dark hair and a smattering of freckles.

It was not for her sake that Mrs. Weasley fretted, it was for Hermione Granger. The girl was far too old to yet remain single, and it was only after she, her last surrogate, was happily (or rather, wisely) married could Mrs. Weasley wish for nothing more. The only question was to whom would she match the headstrong girl?

There were numerous suitable candidates, though none amongst her own brood, but at the top of her list was the once disdained Mr. Draco Malfoy. Since the war, the boy had become less of an irritating brat. Not to mention, he was quite wealthy and highly connected in society. Not only were there those advantages, but Draco and Hermione were actually well-acquainted. One could even say that their shared classes at London Wizardry University made them rather intimate friends, though Mrs. Weasley hoped that they hadn't been too intimate, since Hermione seemed a rather precocious type not given to understanding the contempt held for witches who were unmaidenly.

That was not to say Molly did not enjoy her company. After all, the girl was raised by muggles, and, not to say that they were bad, but they no longer held the same esteem for virginal brides that the wizarding world did.

At any rate, the next soiree was to be held at her son-in-law's manor, and so she would have only slightly less than full control. She would easily see to it that Hermione would be paired with a suitable gentleman by the end of the night. She was sure of it.

Severus Snape sat calmly in a chair in his drawing room while Lucius Malfoy paced the length of it with a sense of harried distress. He had long since ceased to watch his friend as his frantic movements made his slightly dizzy. He dangled lazily from his finger tips a goblet of wine, which he had held out for his friend the next time he came close enough in his rounds to grab from his hand and down in a single gulp.

"Something stronger perhaps, Lucius?"

"Please."

Severus shook his head and tried to hide his smirk behind a curtain of dark hair as he stood to his feet and strolled languorously to his liquor cabinet and selected a decanter of fire whiskey and poured two fingers of whiskey into a glass, which his companion grabbed from him and swallowed quickly.

"Lucius, you realize nothing will be solved by getting smashed, right?" Lucius snorted inelegantly in response.

"Harry bloody, sodding Potter! He's little more than new money flaunting all he has in order to fit in with pureblood society."

Severus snorted at this proclamation. He still considered the boy to be an annoying prat, but the hatred he once felt had long since faded.

"That's not necessarily true, Lucius. His fortune comes from his father, who was a pureblood. It is the same as mine, except his mother was actually a witch whereas my father was a muggle."

Lucius spared him a disparaging glance before rolling his eyes. "It's not the same. You have immersed yourself into our culture, and do not flaunt your wealth in such an immature and boyish manner-"

"And that is because, Lucius, I am _not_ an immature boy. You know as well as I that most of these bloody parties are more the idea of the mother-in-law than the boy's. It's not his fault that his wife has an overbearing, grasping mother, and whilst I could never imagine allowing myself to become attached to any creature with a relationship to such an unsuitable woman, he is young and not the sharpest knife in the drawer."

"What on earth does cutlery have to do with Potter? At any rate, I'm most upset by the fact that they are slighting Narcissa in such a way. To invite Draco but not her is an incredible insult. I don't know why they are inviting my son anyway."

"Perhaps Mr. Potter is doing so on the advice of Ms. Granger. She and Draco are friends, are they not?"

Lucius scowled. "Do not remind me. The girl is as uncivilized as they come, she doesn't even have beauty to make up for her lack of decorum."

Severus laughed shortly. "The way you speak of her, one would think that she swings on vines and wears a loincloth. I've found that she is always properly dressed for any occasion and is at the very least refreshing when it comes to conversation."

"Refreshing? What a tactful way of saying that she is unabashedly straightforward and has no talent for courtly speech. And she is unmarried, at her age."

"As am I."

"You're a man. There's a difference."

"Not to muggles. She was raised muggle and even when she found that she was a witch, she was sorted into Gryffindor. Unlike Slytherin, the Gryffindors do not teach the first years the strictures of wizarding society. She is undoubtedly simply uninformed."

"More likely, no man would have her. She is wild and far too well educated for a woman. It gives them too many insane ideas. It is alright if the woman in question is not involved in society, but the bloody war has made celebrities of them all, and as such they are immersed into our world with no knowledge of it. The way she is with Draco, allowing herself to be with a man without supervision, were she anyone else, society would shun her!"

"Perhaps she is setting her cap for him."

"I'd rather die than have that woman in my family. She is as ungovernable as she is unattractive. At least Mrs. Potter has the advantage of being a beautiful woman—"

Severus sat in his chair and did his best to appear to listen to his friend, even though he wasn't the least bit interested in hearing his rants. Ms. Granger was not unattractive. While her hair remained as wild as it was when she was younger, there was something to be said of the beauty of those riotous curls. Her dark eyes were always sparkling with mirth her lips were constantly parted in a smile. She had vivacious nature and, while she was entirely without the education of societal behaviors, she had good graces and was nothing like the truly ungovernable woman who immerged from Gryffindor. Lavender Brown and Pavarti Patil were as unruly as any two women could be.

At any rate, the party at Harry Potter's home was one he could not miss, though he did not enjoy attending parties. He did only what was forced on him by Lucius and Narcissa, and Narcissa would not allow him to miss the party of the season simply because she was not invited.

But he would not dance.

Author's Notes: I thought that this would be an interesting take on an Alternative Universe for the Potterverse. I'll list who the characters are supposed to be in accordance with Pride and Prejudice.

Hermione Granger: Elizabeth Bennet

Severus Snape: Fitzwilliam Darcy

Harry: Charles Bingley (While he and Severus are not necessarily bosom friends, they are well acquainted.)

Ginny: Jane Bennet

Draco Malfoy: Charlotte Lucas (I seem to cast the Malfoy men in the roles of women.)

Mrs. Weasley: Mrs. Bennet

Mr. Weasley: Mr. Bennet

Lavender and Pavarti: Kitty and Lydia Bennet, respectively.

Lucius Malfoy: Caroline Bingley (I giggled when I realized the role in which I cast him.

While he doesn't quite fit the roll, since his goal is not to marry Severus, he is proud and snobbish, and determined to bring a stop to the romance between Severus and Hermione.)

Narcissa Malfoy: Lady Catherine de Bourgh

Sabastian Prince: George Wickham (He is not yet introduced, however, he is Severus' distant cousin, who believes that the Prince fortune should be his.)

Ron Weasley does not play a large role in this story. He will be mentioned fleetingly in speech as being a star on the otherwise dreadful Chudley Cannons. The story begins not quite at the beginning of Pride and Prejudice, as Harry and Ginny are already married and Severus is already slightly enamoured of Hermione.


End file.
